i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize