a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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