Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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