He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
