I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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