At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So. Much. Porn.
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