some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
