there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
