i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
