maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
