He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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