Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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