He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
