dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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