Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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