My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
