If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
