I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All I want is dick and wine.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I deserve this hangover.
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