i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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