she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
