I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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