im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
