it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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