3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
