his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
