He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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