No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
