hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I know her cup size but not her name....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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