I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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