he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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