when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
