Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
