I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize