They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
