I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
