worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
should my penis look like a turkey
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
