So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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