alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
