Im at strip club and am horny
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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