Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
