I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I want to fling myself into the sun
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
