She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think your dad took our porno
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
