i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
