My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
