You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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