either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
