should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
