Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
