hell yes lets make some ravioli
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize