This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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