Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
