I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize