So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
