im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
