Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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