Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
