he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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