We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize